I Love Men

I'm getting married :)

2006-10-24T06:36:00.000-07:00

The idea that I'm getting married in nine months, though, doesn't seem to have quite sunk in yet. Remember that little invite effort I made the other day at work? I just got so cosy here that I actually forgot it was a new diary and never got around to closing up the old one. Aunt Collette made a delicious, tearfully-spicy cajun dish called Dirty Rice when we got back to the house, and that was pretty much the end of that day... other than the excitement when a tiny white gecko was found in the fridge. That was always my favorite part when we lived at the old house and the place was full to the rafters. What is your favorite time of the day and why?

Friends favorite episodes:

2006-10-07T05:36:00.000-07:00

My fav friends episode is the one when Ross marries Emily :)
How can you not love that episode!?! People seem to care about things that don't affect them and not pay attention to things like their children, their neighbors, their schools. I don't think you have any idea how much you hurt people. I don't care...

Don't know why, but i do.

I love men but i hate Bush

2006-10-01T06:13:00.000-07:00

What he stands for is false and hateful and on all levels I wish he would lay the fuck down so the rational America could bug-fuck the bastard into the dirt.

I have work today and I'm still gonna engrave our names into the heart at work.

So that certainly turned what was supposed to be a restful afternoon into a fairly stressful timespan, for then and till I calmed down.

I think i prefer women now...

2006-09-29T13:00:00.000-07:00

Then the girl was trying to get the kid to sing his ABC's but he didn't want to and she gave up. I said do you really want to know? I just don't want to try anymore.

I just try to be there for them so that they know that i care. Jen offered to do it for me, and in the meantime, we convinced her to ask Don one more time if she could go...

Put your records on....

2006-09-28T15:56:00.000-07:00

The girl that lived upstairs said that she saw him messing with my door when she got home and heard me ask what he was doing in my house, and then him having his ass kicked a few minutes later. I had to ask myself why I was so looking forward to meeting a bunch of retards to blast in my diary, and realized that I had just learned a lesson from a bunch of rednecks. I can say with great confidence that the work of Doctor Julia of the houses has changed my life. Is that ok?

So all I know at this time is that the electricity effecting several north-eastern states is completely out due to something about a grid in Niagra Falls or that's what I think was said on the car radio when I first heard about it. In my opinion, this event was the testablished How mature am I at this point in my life?

Wigs are cool.

2006-09-17T14:05:00.000-07:00

Maybe they never saw those wigs. I have short, very coarse strawberry blonde hair. I like the idea of wigs, they can change your whole persona. We have talked about moving in together before, but with the problems we've been having I dont know if thats such a super idea that i first thought. When in times of great struggle we should band together and become one.

Well, some of you may have remembered that a couple of entries ago, I stated that I was taking a 40-day and 40-night vow of celibacy. lol well looks like that went out the window. We live in a cynical world, and in order to change that we have to step up and question the way things are viewed; however, the curse being, that you must constantly defend yourself when you challenge people.

Its feelings like these that grip my soul and wake me weep. These are the people that bring a smile on my face.
How can you tell what a good lookin cat is? They're all cute to me. However, what kills me isn't just that I know that I did really badly in that test, but, also, as I was sitting at my seat, it made so much sense; it felt so wrong like I'd made a mistake.

What I did today

2006-09-08T06:50:00.000-07:00

So we went to lunch together and shopping and to the aerobics. When in times of great struggle we should band together and become one. I let the world wash over me, and just accept whats being done to me. For most of my adult life I have challenged the way people think, and for most of my life, I have had to suffer some heavy scrutiny for having those thoughts and ideas. I am working on being gracious when people say that they like my postings, but I still have to fight the impulse not to stare at the ground, mumble something self-deprecating, and then run to the bar and order most of it. Oh, they boasted and ruffelled their feathers and fired people crappy wappy from hundreds of miles away and did all the crappy wappy manager stuff that seems to work at other places like ABE books, but they never got it through their heads that they were deffo NOT ABE Books, and they certainly didn't have the kind of money it takes to support such behavior.

Online Dating

2006-09-04T15:00:00.000-07:00

My sister finds this out, tracks down this guy via the Internet and it turns out he's earning a decent living for himself as a photographer.

This guy was someone whom I was really close to in college, but never actually dated. It was actually very calming, being almost naked in warm salt water, breathing without effort. And this was a boy. I always had the feeling that he was going to turn on me one day and that I was being set up for the kill, but the moment never came. She says its mumbo jumbo and he's going to fill my head with crap.

Nice pic of Jupiter don't you think?

2006-09-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

The Koalas have a half a week off, as the school is being renovated. Of course, he had plenty of time to master that stare, being in the Air Force for 20 years and all, 6 of those years in wartime as a DI. And you need to work on loving yourself becuase you are obviously missing that gift. I'm obviously going through something here. Darren and I both dated the most popular girls at the time, obviously not at the same time. I was hoping that I could get the link to work but I obviously screwed something up so I guess you'll have to cut and paste. I knew this was something I had to do, but the internal fighting began to wear down my upbeat attitude which changed to a negative, depressed personality. The rest of junior high, which continued to the ninth grade, was very typical: played lots of sport, dated lots of girls, partied and drank way too much. This continued for the duration of tenth grade and into my junior year where sports injuries, bad behavior, and lack of schoolwork concentration left me alone to the world.

Nice guy but he's got problems...

2006-08-31T15:50:00.000-07:00

He used to go practice drifting after work. I'll let you go now that I've found a way to keep, somehow, more than a broken vow. I guess Im sorry for that too, but Im more embarrassed to have to apologize to a 33 year old for that more than anything else.
I can't blame him for that, but how am I supposed to trust him in any sort of way if he doesn't tell me anything at all... cept trivial things? To stave off boredom, we used the one payphone in the school and would call the one freephone number that we knew of that wouldn't get us through to the emergency services or carpet information lines or things of that ilk - which was the operator. And what's more amazing is that he's not directly related to any one of us here at work. But she can't make it, and I understand that...
The problem is that I've never negotiated for a wage increase. So how the fuck am I supposed to tell this guy that I cant handle seeing him when apparently everyone else can..?

How clean is your local hospital?

2006-08-30T12:19:00.000-07:00

Mine isnt very clean.
And what briefly thought up fantasy in the produce isle would be complete without him using some of those vegetables to do me? Then-and I dont know what compelled me to do this-I ran my toes along the seam on his back, below the red ribbon around his legs, and held him to my chest. If you are this user and you want to be able to let other users leave notes for you, click here for the form to turn them on! And her soothing words and the sight of the tube flow will make you want to go home and eat nothing but green vegetable for the next three months. It won't be for another at least 2 weeks for the t-shirt to come. What would I want other people around for when she's such a super companion who wants to talk about those goddamned Oprah reruns all the time?

Most of those people are sorely mistaken. The current population of the world is 6,388,971,752 people.

Jimmy is cool.

2006-08-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

It was working for a while but then he said something that made me mad and he started ignoring me. Thank you for showing me that there is still something amazing and original out there. Hope to see ya there! Not that there was no contact with him. Jimmy and Simon were only there for one of the nights I was.

Follow the rise and fall of the greatest video game champion the world has ever known. We were walking from the restaurant to the Scottish pub, and guess who we bumped into? Jimmy!

It seemed sterile and there was a heavy, rank and musty odor that lingered in the air.

I been away for a few days, did you miss me?

2006-08-24T06:39:00.000-07:00

People, I am cranky. Want to know when I do? When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears.
Now I am really really tired and just want to sleep and sleep all through tomorrow.
So anyway, this afternoon I sat at Brad Pitt's table reading through some of these passages that he felt he couldnt solve. I am just fucking through with it all, you know?
He had been through hell and back.

The open cluster.

2006-08-21T15:07:00.000-07:00

He never fucking dies! Its one year ago since he died.
But hopefully Lucy or Lauren did, and since they both had digicams, they'll probably share the pictures around like a filthy whore. Which I'd really like, but probably won't happen, since I still won't be eighteen. I'm probably going to wake up the next morning wishing I never let any of this out. Since the idiot student employee didn't say anything about the due date when she checked it out for me I didn't know how long I had it for. In gauging the chemistry between Henry and myself, which I shouldn't do really, I basically felt like as far as he was concerned I wasn't even there for a long time.

Lucky Kelis getting Nas imo.

2006-08-20T09:11:00.000-07:00

We are still working with near half a million men, so as Kelis has been romantically linked with the rapper Nas, it can be hypothesized that she enjoys the company of African-American men. And all children should be interred with the parents.
How are you all doing? If ex-boyfriend says all the animals are his then he needs to be responsible. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? I don't know what I want to talk about I just know that I can't lie in bed any longer. Also this is my diary and if you don't like what you read, then I suggest you move on to another diary. What Kind Of Star Wars Fan Are You? Looking on the bright side, if the last few days are any indication, this abilify stuff is turning out to be all that and a bag of chocolate. If you don't like my diary it is your problem, not mine.

Smiley Faces Today

2006-08-19T09:10:00.000-07:00

Below, I will examine the validity of Kelis' argument, and attempt to discern whether or not she does, in fact, wield such power. You do no good to the cause by confiding in to that old woman and Not in Rowan. Equally amusing is the fact that you decide to listen to your neighbours who might I remind you are a pair of cynical, old, full of spite husband and wife who have never amounted to anything.

I resent the fact that you give preference to an employee who lies, manipulates, and is ineffectual at her job just because she has her nose so far up your ass you can't tell where she ends and you begin. If you're interested, give me a holler.. oh, and is that Shuggie Otis album any good? Hope you are doing wonderful! I started to get excited, but was reminded that I can't act like some silly fan.

If you're homophobic, or just take things like that into offence, then don't bother clicking away.

I'm sure she'll be thrilled to know that I've gotten myself into yet another long-distance relationship.

Can you tell me, what I am aching to know?

My mom and I didn't have our long lecture/talk about life and how it works and what she wants to tell me, but she claims she'll be over here @ 8:30 AM to start it. If you must know what I did well I cant tell you only a select few can know. Around here, everyone talks about this place.... almost every woman I know in Los Angeles has been taken into the men's restroom at one time or another by boyfriends who must show off the urinal! But above all, I really, really wish it was in Los Angeles!! Everyone has always known this about you, and you are just beginning to know it about yourself.

Thank Crunchie its Friday!

2006-08-18T16:55:00.000-07:00

BTW, it is his fault that my sleeping time is all messed up. As a matter of fact some people there get away with murder because they take advantage that Howard is not a corporate business type but an ex- truck driver.... a former working man.... a former union steward. There is even a fear of having to go out and buy and wear business clothes. And you know what, if I had the right guy and I loved him, yes I would probably be having sex.

In other words, I am the top reporter for the daily and the editor of a weekly newspaper, and I make $30,000 a year, or $15,000 per job. And what about the fact that I doubled circulation in two key areas in my beat in FOUR MONTHS when I started at the daily and am having the same effect in the city now?? I got a $3,000 bump to take on the goddamn Argus, and no bump to take on a second job on top of that.

If I were to stay here, theoretically speaking, and take his job, I'd make maybe $35,000.

My facial swelling is gone now and all thats visible around the bandages is a fairly spectacular technicolour bruise. But then I realised we were talking about Kim, how can she ever be gone out of my life? I never realized how cut off from the world I was until last night when I was talking to her.

Ok seriously how many of you people still really like this asshole? I like to see how many people have linked to me and establish my feelings of self-worth accordingly.

Yummy George Clooney.

2006-08-17T16:53:00.000-07:00

I take it at the end of July and I pretty much need to devote the remaining month to preparing for it in earn established as it turns out that I learned nothing in law school. I just wanted to let you know, because well, I thought it was pretty interesting and maybe you won't, but you know your layout? I may be wrong about everything in regards to how well I think I know him, but I have faith that one day- maybe not for many years from now- he will understand what he's done.

Now I know that sounds bad, but hear me out. I mean overall it was a good vacation, I got to hang out with my cousins CorCor and Kny and JB and Nato, but the other baby cousin that I have is driving me up a wall.

Who in the world can say that they're living with everything they ever wanted?

She needs everything to be trimmed just right or she doesnt want it in the yard. Add that to the fact that there is a hole in my coat pocket and some change slipped down there, and I am just a clicking rattling jingling girl called pepper zooming around the city.

I'm the type of person who needs to be told straight out whether there's something there or not.

Something like Nirvana or Manson, then scream along with it. Lets pretend his name is Jim or Bruce or something that nobody is actually ever called anymore.

One time I Fell in Love

2006-08-16T14:39:00.000-07:00

I love lazy days... they're sooo.....

What is Love?

Now, I don't even remember what banner I was clicking on. Don't need to tell me twice! On second thought, I need nothing of the sort. The coat was soft and sleek, with trim made from some sort of fur that was probably real, though Im not sure. And if the grid isn't fixed before the mornin' then there will probably be no work because the computer systems will be out unless the companies have their own power generator I guess. I could tell you what the band was originally called. I was positively dizzy by the time I walked out of there!

This morning John, my friend and musical collaborator for the past seven years, left for Maui, where he will be managing a studio in Lahaina.

On Saturday night we went to Ross' which was reasonably boring, but only to be expected. None of this has made the papers here, which is interesting in itself.

Who is the hottest on that list?: Pierre! I love listening to the rain when I warm and cosy indoors. I am still trying to get my brain and spirit around all the stuff I encountered there. Even if The Smack had broken up at this point, they'd still be considered one of the greats. Jamie turned in my direction, scowled, and said very sharply, Its rude to sing at the table.

Some songs that I've been listening to lately... It was extremely boring, with lots of sitting and listening.

My love for Jimmy-Bob

2006-08-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

Something inside of me knew that it wasnt right for me to play mommy and limit him. However, I believe the most difficult thing in life is to hate something and love hating it. However, what touched my life the most that year was the death of my closest cousin, Jimmy-Bob.

Thus bringing me to the third most difficult experience of my life. I was staring like a crazy woman at my reflection in the mirror and I just started hitting the mirror. It's a beautiful white house with my cool purple room with flowers on the walls that I painted myself. Most of my time is spent with my fiance, best friend, or roomate. They'll be getting a ton of quality time with him in 2 weeks when we stay with them! Thanks for getting in touch with me about this.

What I Did Today

2006-08-15T16:54:00.000-07:00

He isnt pretty boy cute or serial killer sexy, but kind of mature, manly man sexy. But not geeky glasses.

Learned to play saxophone freshman year, because marching with a bassoon is pretty retarded.

You can look upon something so similar to yourself with utter disgust, because... However, I believe the most difficult thing in life is to hate something and love hating it. However, this is a very similar structure I am intending to use for my book.

hello world

2006-08-15T16:43:00.000-07:00

hi there